Most of the weds-to-be actually scratch their heads in trying to decipher who, how many and so forth guests to invite in their big days. As one begins to add the people in the wedding guests list the question of expenses pops up.
Sometimes the pressure to increase the number of the guests comes from the in laws or even the immediate parents thus multiplying the expected costs. This occurs because ones in laws or parents may have connections and/or old friends that they would like to share with the special day. When it comes to the number of the wedding guest, ability of one to draw the line is much as important as the wedding itself. The following are some of the most important tips that one ought to consider on how to invite and most importantly who to trim down:
Choose the maximum/optimum number of persons to invite
Due to the reception venue or the wedding hall, one may find him/herself limited to the number of the wedding guests that you can invite. One ought to set the number that will be absolute maximum number of the wedding guest that are likely to attend the wedding even though not everyone invited is going to show up. From the maximum number of the wedding guest that is set, one is able to know if to begin trimming the list or not.
Wedding invitations and any other product and wedding service are not free. Therefore, determining the costs of the invitations is as well paramount in the setting up the number of the guests. Therefore, from the absolute maximum number one is able to estimate the rough figure for each of the invited guest. At this stage the bride and the groom ought to look into their budget and figure out if the people to be invited fit into their plans.
Thinking of ones future and not the past is the key
One does not get a free invitation merely from the fact you were close to them in high school or you were friends in your childhood. Chances are good that you cannot invite people to your wedding if you have not being in close touch with them for more than two years. In fact if your budget does not allow, most persons do not even invite people they were close to while in college. It is imperative to not worry too much about offending someone from your distant past and focusing on the financial foundation and the future one is trying to build should be the priority.
1. Every family member does not qualify to be invited
Some family members are closer to you than others and thus they qualify more than the distant relatives who live very far away and rarely see each other. In any family one has some of the relatives that one has distant relationship and thus not every single cousin deserves to be invited. They probably understand if you calmly explain to them once you see them maybe in the next Christmas/family get-together.
2. Someone’s feeling may get hurt in the process
It is important to understand that someone feelings may get hurt no matter how many wedding invitations you send or what you do in the process. These are normal things in the wedding. You ought to resign yourself and deal with it unless you are willing to splash money in your wedding. Trusting ones guts one who to include and leave is the only important thing.
Are you wondering how to incorporate a creative wording into your wedding rsvp cards without losing elegance and style?
Or has it happened to you that you totally love those Pinterest creative stationery shots, with a fun or modern wording but you are not quite sure whether everyone will like it? You're not alone. This is a common enquiry or concern and that's why I am writing this article.
Well, let me tell you what I think. No matter what you do, we have already stated in many of our blogs that we can not please everyone or pander to everyone's taste. And taste is not a science, it is actually quite subjective. A funny or serious wording on the RSVP card will not define the style of the entire wedding, within reason, of course.
Once your wedding style is discussed, defined and agreed on (I would say mainly with your partner, but perhaps not exclusively), you can decide how formal or fun you want it to be. Just be consistent with most of the elements of the wedding and the level of formality you want and you will be just fine.
Now, before I show you wording ideas that are creative, let's remember some points that some of those stunning inspiration shots may not leave clear.
Now the fun part!
Depending on the level of formality of your wedding you can use some humour or even hints to encourage their guests to put that RSVP card in the mail.
You can find more traditional wording, with "accepts/ declines" in our wording ideas page.
Some of the funny RSVP wordings and options we've used are:
Specific wording options for destination weddings.
Info to help the band or DJ.
Here are some lines you can use to encourage a response.
These are my tips for today, do you have more ideas to share?
PLEASE COMMENT AND INSPIRE OTHER COUPLES SEARCHING FOR CREATIVE WORDING
Do you want to order rsvp cards? Click here
Etiquette, put simply, is a code of behaviour or expectations that fulfill social convention. It may shock some to know, that tradition and etiquette is alive and well when it comes to wedding invitations and weddings in general. Even if you are having a non-traditional wedding, according to your culture, background or society in general, this remains true.
Wedding invitation etiquette does have guidelines to which you should adhere, and there are also some guidelines that are more flexible. In general, these guidelines fall into four categories; timing, wording, guest list and details. Below you’ll find a modern approach to etiquette issues.
When do you need to send the invitations?
Generally speaking, 8 - 16 weeks before the wedding, if you want your guests to come. You could make it earlier if you have a lot of travelling guests. Give them time to book flights and accommodation, without having to pay premium pricing.
How do you choose the RSVP date?
Give your guests at least 2 weeks to respond if you can and also if you can, make it about 6 weeks before the wedding, so you have time to finalise numbers for the venue/s and caterer and get place cards and additional stationery produced.
We have written a complete article about "when to send your wedding invitations" with more details and options.
Do I have to put the parents' names on the invitations?
The actual names should only appear if they are hosting. That is, they are paying for all or part of the wedding. Otherwise it should be the couple inviting the guests and perhaps, ‘together with their parents’. This may change with cultural influences.
How do I layout the text and what font/s do I use?
There are those who will go into great detail about how this should and shouldn’t be done. Basically, if it’s a formal wedding, the invitation should reflect this with its layout, font and wording. Don’t use abbreviations, use a formal style font and formal language. For a more casual wedding, you can use more casual fonts and wording and abbreviate a few things where appropriate.
How do I include extra information for the guests?
You can add RSVP details to the bottom of the invitation rather than send a separate card. You CANNOT put gift registry or wishing well details on the bottom of the invitation, that’s just plain and simple rude! Insert a separate card if you wish to inform people about such things. You can add a dress code if you think it’s necessary. Any extra detail that will take more than one line should probably be somewhere else. For example, accommodation or transport details.
Guest List Etiquette
Who should I be inviting?
Cultural influences will play a significant part here, so take those into account where necessary. Generally speaking, start with family members and then move onto friends. Invite those you have a relationship with. Family members that you don’t see or speak with regularly can be left off the list. Don’t feel compelled to invite work colleagues. If you never see them outside work, why start now?
Should I invite out of town guests?
Just because someone lives far away and probably won’t be able to go, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invite them. If they are important to you, send the invitation and let them decide. That’s the polite thing to do and you may get a pleasant surprise at what people are willing to do for their friends and family.
Should I have a secondary guest list?
Even with allowances for modern flexibility this is really a no-no. If the person isn’t close enough to make the first list, why invite them? And imagine if the person found out they were just making up numbers! How would they feel and would they want to come? My advice is to steer clear of this nightmare of an idea!
How do I handle plus ones?
It’s better to ask for the name of an intended guest’s partner and put that on the invitation than to simply write, ‘and guest’, ‘plus one’ or ‘and partner’. If you don’t know or can’t be bothered checking, then I’d question the depth of the relationship and whether they should be invited. There’s nothing wrong with inviting singles.
"Etiquette Details and Invitations: how to address wedding invitations
How do I address the envelopes?
The basic rule is that everyone who is invited should appear on the envelope in some way. So if you’re inviting kids, you can mention them by saying, ‘Mr and Mrs Smith and family’ or ‘Mr and Mrs Smith, John and Mary’. If not, just address it to, ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’.
Should older kids living at home get an invitation?
If you are inviting the whole family, then as a general rule, kids over 15 should get their own invitation, addressed to them. Definitely send a separate invitation to any adult children living with their parents.
Should I put a return address on the envelopes?
It can be expensive to get the stationery supplier to put this detail on the envelope, but it’s a good idea to print some labels or hand write the return address. It will explain why someone hasn’t responded if you get an invitation returned by the post office and you can then take steps to contact them another way.
How much does it usually cost to get your envelopes printed?
We could not speak for everyone of course, and by the time you read this articl prices could have changed. Price can be per envelope: $1 to $1.20 to print each or in our case, we charge per lot or per order, no matter how big or small it is. At the moment our address printing price is $29 per lot, so if you order for example 60 invitations, the cost of printing each envelope is just under $0.50
Check out our guest name personalisation service here
There are many people who want to exclude children from their wedding receptions but lack the words to do so or they may feel worried to offend their guests. With this in mind, let us consider some of the ways you can say "no to children" on the invitation without sounding rude.
Subtle Ideas on how to word your invitations
There are many reasons why you may not want children at your wedding. Starting from the obvious, not all children and nice and quiet. Other times you may want to bring the cost down. Perhaps your venue may not allow children.
Or you may be celebrating your wedding with an experience or in a place that is not suitable for children. Nowadays, people are getting married in a variety of places or exotic locations. They are going to canyons, ice lands and jungles. Some environments are unsuitable for children. Other times, the venues will just not allow children. You can go ahead and include this in the invitation. After mentioning the location, or venue policy, you can say
‘ Adult reception to follow at’
‘ Due to venue space or policy restrictions, we are unable to invite children under 16’
‘ Due to space restrictions, we can only accommodate children of immediate family"
‘ We love our little ones, however, this is an adult only reception and ceremony"
•A subtle way is to address clearly the invitation and the envelope with the name of the persons invited. In theory, if the kids' names are not there, your guests should understand their child/ children is/are not invited or they should give you a call and ask.
Grown ups want to have some fun too sometimes. Your wedding can offer the opportunity for you and your friends to get loose without worrying about the kids. If possible, you can forego the cost of setting up a baby sitting area. You can write on the invitation,
‘ We thought you would like one night off, please let's make this an adult only reception. A professional nanny will be booked at the venue "
‘ Due to budget limitations, we are unable to accommodate children, professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel/ venue"
Speak to your guests, converse with them before hand, lay out your concerns.
Wedding Blog for Real Weddings
Most of the articles are written by Mariana, but we have many contributors that based on their area of expertise, write on our wedding blog.